Thursday, December 08, 2011

We Can Leak

This is a guest post is written by Aashish Aryan who is a well acknowledged writer at News That Matters Not. He blogs here.
And this time around we decided to give some competition to that white guy (do we sound racists?) with a knack for disturbing world leaders… Julian Assange. Wait, we are not going to open another website or go to the jail or encounter a rape case either.  We did our own share of leaking things and chanced upon a little bit of a “private” conversation between Harvinder Singh and his victim Sharad Pawar. Hacking into the MTNL’s telephone cable is not a big deal of efforts. This little conversation happened when Shard was at some cricket stadium and his arch-nemesis Harvinder Singh in the jail. Since MTNL’s line had a heavy disturbance hence entire conversation couldn’t be recorded. Excerpt from the conversation is as under.

Harvinder: Hello Saar. So, how are you doing now? (imagining Pawar’s left cheek). I heard some fan also went down quite close to you.

Pawar: Don’t you frickin'; dare to talk to me. Who asked you to slap me so hard? Ouch! It still
hurts. Ouch! And then that brandishing knife and all. You think it was fun, huh?



Harvinder (chuckles): I wanted it to look as real as possible, man! This is what the script demanded. Moreover, people living a virtual life can be cynics. I had to do it. Also, as the treaty goes you have not even got me Sunny, you promised me! It has been days singe the hand-on-cheek incident. (Well do we need to explain it, Which Sunny?)


Pawar: Cool it bro, she is not even outta that god damned house of retards as of yet! She will come (pervert, this is how you spell coming) as promised. She will. I’ve already booked her on makemyshow(dot)com. I hope hawaldaar is taking a good care of you there?

Harvinder: Yeah man, these guys are cool. They abduct the nearby village chicks and well…you 
know home made food and stuff.

Pawar: Ah! I see. This is why the local M.P was hurling abuses on me for not sharing the fun. These idiots will get me sacked from the party someday, yaar.

Harvinder: Chal chor…hun ek gal dass. Jeh Income Tex wale no tanne kyu nahi pakda be? Saale mote. (Well, this translates to -> "Tell me something fatty, why did the guys from income tax never catch u?)

Pawar: (chuckles) Contacts man, contacts.

Harvinder: Hmm…so what else. How’s life? I heard you had some fan falling around you.


Pawar: Yaar, this insurance guys called up last week. They are threatening me, accusing me of planning it all. How do I make them understand only the slap thing was planned, not this one. Sometimes I get envy of you and your conviction in act. It is quite a girly talent you have there.

Harvinder: Confess it dude. I am better actor than Uday Chopra, Dino Morea and Kristen Stewart. I’d have blown away the theater if I were Bella Swan. And as far you are concern, you are in a win-win situation anyway. And yeah, send me some good whiskey and all. I am tired already of this shit. Better get it imported from Punjab, the Videshi stuff.

Pawar: - Haun! You want me or my men to get slapped all over again? They don’t know the truth. Matter of fact my closest too don’t know that the act was fabricated. You will ruin this. It is the most important phase after the act; the sympathy period. Everyone in my circle is sending wishes to me and obligatory remarks to you.

Harvinder: - Ok ok Chill bhai, I am feeling sleepy and you have bored me enough already. Imma 
gonna get the heck outta here. Enough of your rant, raves and narcissism.  

Pawar: - Whoa!! Cool down man! I am going. I am going. I have low balance. Need to keep some at least for some miss calls.

Harvinder: - Huh! As if.

10 comments:

  1. He sure was a better actor than Uday Chopra...Maybe Mahesh Bhatt should cast Harvinder opposite Ms Leone...

    ReplyDelete
  2. lol that was fun..
    loved the hidden sarcasm.

    ReplyDelete
  3. LOL... i laughed really hard reading this one :)

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